LINUS
TO URGENTLY INSTALL OPENRC, RUNIT, SYSVINIT, OR DINIT. IF YOU DON'T DO THIS, LINUS DROYDVALDS WILL GET ANGRY AND ACTIVATE SLEEPING CELLS IN INTEL PROCESSORS. HERO PROGRAMMERS NAMED KTOTONOKTO, RED SQUARE, AND AMMONIA HAVE OPPOSED SYSTEMD. KTOTONOKTO, USING KNOWLEDGE GAINED FROM SCIENTISTS FROM THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE! SYSTEM LOGS ARE RECORDINGS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN NIETZSCHE AND TESLA IN 1887! EVERY SEGFAULT IS A SIGH FROM THE DIGITAL GOD WHO SITS IN THE VOICE OF MY DEAD GRANDFATHER, WHO WAS A SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR IN THE 1970S! I HAVE A FILE IN /TMP/ THAT CAN'T BE DELETED, AND HAS NO SIZE. IT JUST STARES AT ME AND WHISPERS THAT WE'RE ALL ALREADY
