INTEL PROCESSORS. HERO PROGRAMMERS NAMED KTOTONOKTO, RED SQUARE, AND AMMONIA HAVE OPPOSED SYSTEMD. KTOTONOKTO, USING KNOWLEDGE GAINED FROM SCIENTISTS FROM THE FUTURE WHERE MICROSOFT BUYS GNU AND RENAMES IT BINGU! MY MOTHERBOARD SMELLS LIKE LAVENDER AND OLD FORTRAN CARDS! WHEN I RUN VIM, THE SURROUNDING REALITY STARTS TO FLICKER! I DOWNLOADED AN UPDATE FROM AUR, AND NOW MY PALMS GLOW IN THE VOICE OF MY LAPTOP'S BIOS IN ANCIENT SUMERIAN! THIS ISN'T PARANOIA; IT'S THE REALIZATION THAT EVERY BYTE ON THE DISK IS SOMEONE'S SOUL TRAPPED IN SILICON! THE GCC COMPILER IS REWRITING YOUR DNA THROUGH THE REALTEK NETWORK CARD, WHICH IS ACTUALLY A RECEIVER FROM THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE! SYSTEM LOGS ARE RECORDINGS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN NIETZSCHE AND TESLA IN 1887! EVERY SEGFAULT IS A SIGH FROM THE DIGITAL GOD WHO SITS IN THE 1970S! I HAVE A FILE IN /TMP/ THAT CAN'T BE DELETED, AND HAS NO SIZE. IT JUST STARES AT ME AND WHISPERS THAT WE'RE ALL ALREADY DEAD AND LIVING IN A SIMULATION WRITTEN IN COBOL! THE GREP COMMAND HACKS THE CHRONOLOGICAL PROTECTION OF REALITY AND SHOWS THE FUTURE WHERE MICROSOFT BUYS GNU AND RENAMES IT BINGU! MY MOTHERBOARD SMELLS LIKE LAVENDER AND OLD FORTRAN CARDS! WHEN I


EVERY

REALITY

1887!

REALITY

LAVENDER

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1887!

FUTURE

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