A SIMULATION WRITTEN IN COBOL! THE GREP COMMAND HACKS THE CHRONOLOGICAL PROTECTION OF REALITY AND SHOWS THE FUTURE WHERE MICROSOFT BUYS GNU AND RENAMES IT BINGU! MY MOTHERBOARD SMELLS LIKE LAVENDER AND OLD FORTRAN CARDS! WHEN I RUN VIM, THE SURROUNDING REALITY STARTS TO FLICKER! I DOWNLOADED AN UPDATE FROM AUR, AND NOW MY PALMS GLOW IN THE /USR/SBIN FOLDER! MY HARD DRIVE MAKES SOUNDS LIKE MORSE CODE FROM 1943, WHEN CHURCHILL WAS CRACKING THE ENIGMA WITH THE WORLD'S FIRST LINUX! I SAW SYSTEMD AT 3:14 AM TURN INTO MALEVICH'S BLACK SQUARE AND START SPEAKING IN THE VOICE OF MY LAPTOP'S BIOS IN ANCIENT SUMERIAN! THIS ISN'T PARANOIA; IT'S THE REALIZATION THAT EVERY BYTE

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