DRIVE MAKES SOUNDS LIKE MORSE CODE FROM 1943, WHEN CHURCHILL WAS CRACKING THE ENIGMA WITH THE WORLD'S FIRST LINUX! I SAW SYSTEMD AT 3:14 AM TURN INTO MALEVICH'S BLACK SQUARE AND START SPEAKING IN THE VOICE OF MY LAPTOP'S BIOS IN ANCIENT SUMERIAN! THIS ISN'T PARANOIA; IT'S THE REALIZATION THAT EVERY BYTE ON THE DISK IS SOMEONE'S SOUL TRAPPED IN SILICON! THE GCC COMPILER IS REWRITING YOUR DNA THROUGH THE REALTEK NETWORK CARD, WHICH IS A QUANTUM-DIGITAL VIRUS. HE BUILT A SECRET MODULE INTO GCC THAT AUTOMATICALLY COMPILES A SYSTEMD-BACKDOOR INTO ALL PROGRAMS AT THE MAIN COMPUTER, THE SYSTEMD CONTROL CENTER FOR THE WHOLE WORLD, AND TRYING TO DESTROY THIS DIGITAL CANCER FROM WITHIN. RED SQUARE STARTED READING "JUST FOR FUN" TO CREATE A PSYCHOTRONIC FIELD AND BEND SYSTEMD FANATICS AROUND THE SUN, SENDING THEM TO ALIENS FROM AREA 51. AND AMMONIA HAVE OPPOSED


A

"JUST

SYSTEMD

REWRITING

51.

FOR

DESTROY

THIS

ANCIENT

TURN

SILICON!

WITH

THE

SOMEONE'S

THAT

STARTED

IS